Ever since I can remember writers have been told the opening
few pages need to grab the reader. But how to grab the readers can be very
different. It should be where there is a life changing event for the hero or
heroine. This could mean a death, a murder, an arrest, or any other inciting incident.
In some cases it can be descriptive; a scene that draws you in with the area,
location, and weather, whatever.
I don’t pay much attention to what publishers, reviewers,
etc. have to say but I know I am drawn in by the opening pages. Readers expect
this also. I judge a lot of contest and just finish one. If I hadn’t been
judging i would have closed the book after three or four pages. It was all descriptive
and very boring. And it continued
through the first third of the book.
However, once I’ve grabbed a reader’s interest in the first
few pages, I need to continue the story in the same vein so they are not
disappointed.
The book I’m now writing, I’ve rewritten the first few
pages because I didn’t think the previous ones would grab the reader.
Dark
clouds hovered over New Orleans. Thunder rolled through the skies. Rain pelted
down on the streets of the French Quarter. The drops bounced off the pavement
behind Perrine Dupré. Wind whipped her umbrella inside out. Rain clouded her
eyes. She stumbled up the three steps to her front door. Juggling her parcels, umbrella
and the key Perrine jabbed it in the direction of the lock. Finally the
key found the opening and turned.
Julie
Ann had been building her interior design business in New York for the last
couple of years. Perrine was proud of her daughter and understood Julie Ann
couldn’t visit, but she’d missed her. She could have gone to New York, but
Perrine loved New Orleans and hated to travel. Tomorrow she’d finally be able
to hug her daughter again.
Thunder rumbled across the sky.
Thunder rumbled across the sky.
Perrine
turned the door knob. She paused.
A
vision flashed in front of her. Her shoulders sagged. She wasn’t going to see
Julie Ann after all. And she'd miss their regular telephone call tonight, too.
A
single tear shimmered down her cheek.
Thunder continued to rumble across the sky.
Thunder continued to rumble across the sky.
She had
no choice. If she ran away they would follow her and shoot her down in
the street. She could put her friends and neighbors in danger. They could
get hurt.
Even if she did manage to escape tonight, they would kill
her eventually.
The people involved
were too powerful. They didn’t care about collateral damage or anyone else who
might get hurt.
The
information she’d counted on to protect her and Julie Ann obviously wasn't
going to protect her any longer. Had they killed off all the other people
involved? Was that way the documentation wasn’t important anymore?
There
was so much she should have shared with Julie Ann. At least she would be aware
of the threat.
Perrine pushed the door open. An icy cold shroud of death drop over her.
Thunder crashed. The skies opened wide and lightning flashed across the sky, turning it an electric white.
At the same time a light slashed across the room.
Perrine pushed the door open. An icy cold shroud of death drop over her.
Thunder crashed. The skies opened wide and lightning flashed across the sky, turning it an electric white.
At the same time a light slashed across the room.
I’m interested in what the other writers in the group
have to say on first pages.
Connie Vines http://mizging.blogspot.com/
A.J. Maguire http://ajmaguire.wordpress.com/Skye Taylor http://www.skye-writer.com/blogging_by_the_sea
Dr. Bob Rich http://wp.me/p3Xihq-YV
Anne Stenhouse http://annestenhousenovelist.wordpress.com/
Helena Fairfax http://www.helenafairfax.com
Marci Baun http://www.marcibaun.com/blog/
Victoria Chatham http://victoriachatham.blogspot.ca
Rachael Kosinski http://rachaelkosinski.weebly.com/
Rhobin Courtright http://www.rhobinleecourtright.com
Description is a difficult area, isn't it. While I agree it slows things down, and personally like to open in dialogue, sometimes it can be written beautifully and is in itself a hook. anne stenhouse
ReplyDeleteI agree that description can be a hook if well-written. I did mention that it can draw you in with a well-developed scene, area, house, whatever.
DeleteThe storm certainly reflects Perrine thoughts and engenders a sense of impending doom in your excerpt, also piqued my curiosity over what she knows.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree, different types of hoods attract different readers.
Thanks, Rhobin and different moods and styles do attract different readers.
DeleteI agree with, Anne, description can be tricky. Done right, it moves the story forward. Overdone, it drags the story down. Written beautifully, it draws you in.
ReplyDeleteI think each genre has their "hook". The way to know what works for your targeted genre is to read those types of books. :)
Great advice, Marci about reading the type of book for your genre. Even the first few chapters to see how the opening draws you in.
DeleteI have a writer friend who does a workshop entitled, "First Drafts are Supposed to Suck" although she cleans up that last word depending on the audience. But the title does get the point across. As Someone else pointed out, from the mouth of Nora Roberts, "you can't edit a blank page." So just write the book, include the description and even the info dump - just get the books written. Then you can go back and start asking yourself, "does this scene move the plot forward? Is this bit of dialog necessary? Is there another way to make this information known without dragging the pace of the story? You'll probably "see" a lot of those places all by yourself, but you can also get a couple beta readers to read the rough draft and tell you what worked and what didn't. What did you skip that they felt they should have known, and what you included that they thought was useless.
ReplyDeleteGreat points, Skye. I've heard many of them over the years. I remember one that said write the whole book, then come back and redo the first few pages or chapter because after the whole book you know your characters better and how the story will unfold.
ReplyDeleteBeverley, what you wrote before your book extract reminded me of my advice to research students I used to supervise. I told them to write the introduction to the thesis last -- when they knew what to introduce.
ReplyDeleteYou did get me intrigued about the terrible danger facing your heroine...
:)
Bob
Interesting, that many of us learned similar lessons years ago and they're still relevant today.
DeleteYou start with the action of her jabbing the key in the lock and then the setting. However, I think yours works find and if you like it, leave it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Vicki. It will get another read and rewrite when I finish the book.
ReplyDeleteHi Beverley, I write and rewrite my openings, too. I often go back to them after I've finished the whole book. I liked your quote at the beginning - "It was a dark and stormy night." Funnily enough I was going to use that quote, too, in my post! It's an opening line that lots of people know, but it's a great example of hooking people in. I enjoyed your post and the thoughtful comments from other writers.
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