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Friday, June 27, 2014

FIREWORKS


Our topic this week is your best explosive (literally or figuratively, physically or emotionally) scene from your writing. Tell about your reaction to writing it, background  information, etc.

Wow - what a great topic but I couldn't think what scene would work. After a lot of consideration I thought a beginning scene form a new work in progress was perfect. So here is a beginning scene from a book I've titled 'The Anniversary'. 


It was a good day for murder.

He strode into the diner, rifle in each hand and opened fire.

A smile curled his lips as people fell to the floor and blood spattered across tables and walls.

Mary Lou Hennessey heard the shots as she walked out of the woman’s restroom, two-year old Travis clutching her hand.

Her husband Clint came out of the men’s room at the same time, with their older son, five year old Clint Junior.

“It sounds like shots in the diner.” Mary Lou whispered.

Clint nodded and held his finger to his lips. “Take Clint and sneak out of the exit door.

He pointed to the door at the end of the hall and handed Mary Lou Clint Junior’s hand.

She opened her mouth.

Clint shook his head. “Do what I ask. I’m going to check it out. I might be able to help.” He pulled his 45 automatic from his belt at the back of his jeans.

“Clint, don’t go, please.” She whispered.

“Go, quick and get as far away as possible, then call the sheriff.  Now go. I’ll be fine.”

Mary Lou hesitated. The shots had stopped.

She took Clint Junior’s hand and hurried toward the exit door, praying it wasn’t alarmed. She pushed it open.

No alarm sounded.

She glanced over her shoulder as Clint crept up to the door of the diner, his gun out in front.

“Well, well, look who’s here. Come on in boy and join the party.”

She raced outside, into the warm Alabama evening, dragging both her boys with her.

“Mom...”

“Quiet, both of you keep running beside me.” She raced across the unused parking lot, past a rusted out nineteen ninety coupe, through an overgrowth of weeds and up a short slope into the carwash next door. It had closed at five o’clock. She ran inside and hid behind the brushes.

With one boy on each side, she clutched them against her. It was quiet. No shots. No sounds of anyone leaving the diner. No cars driving away. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed 911.

“What is your emergency, please?”

“I need to talk to the sheriff. I don’t have his number.” Mary Lou whispered into the phone.

“I can pass the information on to the sheriff for you. What is your name?”

Mary Lou hesitated. “There’s been a shooting at Dave’s diner on Montgomery and Sixth Street. Tell the sheriff to get their fast, but be careful. He should bring paramedics too.”

She closed the phone. “Come on, boys, let’s get out of here.”

She walked out the back of the car wash and down a short alley. At the corner of the street she stopped and checked in both directions. There wasn’t a soul in sight.

From where she stood she didn’t see any movement in the diner.

Was Clint okay? Please, Lord, keep him safe. He’s a good man.

She stepped out on to the street and hurried to the corner. As she turned down Ninth Street she heard the sirens.

When I wrote this scene I had a hard time. I was in Mary Lou's POV and heard the shots and ran. It was a hard scene to write. Why would anyone kill innocent people? 

I'm interested in what the other's in my group have written about. Check out the next one at http://kaysisk.blogspot.com
And the other group members are listed below.
 
Margaret Fieland at http://margaretfieland.com/my_blog
Heidi M. http://heidiwriter.wordpress.com
Anne Stenhouse at http://annestenhousenovelist.wordpress.com
Connie Vines at http://connievines.blogspot.com/
Ginger Simpson at http://mizging.blogspot.com
Geeta Kakade at http://geetakakade.blogspot.com/
Fiona McGier at http://www.fionamcgier.com
Lynn Crain at http://lynncrain.blogspot.co.at/
Rhobin Courtright at http://rhobinleecourtright.com

14 comments:

  1. That's really going to shape up into something deep and dark, Bev. Exciting writing, Anne Stenhouse

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  2. That's why I'm so creeped out by the "open-carry" concept all the rage in the US now. I sure as shit don't feel any safer with some moron, perhaps mentally unbalanced or mad at his wife to boot, strolling into public places with a boldly displayed rifle. I don't want to carry since I'm a pacifist. I pay the police through my taxes to take care of bullies.

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    1. I agree. And I'm Canadian so we seldom carry guns, except for hunting purposes.

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  3. I like it. You really have a dramatic plot going and scenes like this are very much on our minds and tug at our heart strings these days.
    You had my attention at the first word.
    Geeta Kakade

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  4. Wow... I want to know more! I hope you wrote more!!

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  5. Wow...made my heart beat faster at the explosiveness...and it's way too true to all the tragedies today. You captured that wonderfully. Like Melissa, I can't wait to read more.

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    1. Thanks Ginger. I appreciate the comment.

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  6. Great opening hook! I can't wait to read more.

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    1. Thanks for dropping by Connie and the positive comment.

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  7. Very intense scene and it definitely makes me want to know more about the book. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thanks Lynn for stopping by and reading it.

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